Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Fingers in my hair

My emotions have been running the gamut (did you know the expression "running the gamut" is actually a musical one?  I didn't until recently! Sorry, I'll now suppress the geek in me again! :) ), and it's been rather exhausting, honestly.  Surgery has now been rescheduled for September 28th.  Jon and I head out Sunday, the 25th and will return October 12th.  I'm bracing myself again for the goodbye's we'll have to say again and for the huge and difficult transformation that I'm facing (at least 4 months of eating nothing but blended foods - two of those weeks, nothing but liquid.  Kinda bummed, but trying to be as optimistic as I can about that!  Lots of shakes and smoothies - that's a good thing, right?!  Right?! :) ).  

Anyway, the routine that back to school has forced on us has been good for me.  And now most mornings, I have one-on-one time with this guy.  I've loved it.  I love him.  And he loves me.  And he cracks me up.  

Tonight I laid with him in the dark waiting for him to fall asleep and he threw his arm over my neck and said, "I luf you berry much, Mommy.  You MY big boy."  Yes, I tell him that every night.  :) And then he went on to run his fingers through my hair.  My hair is still falling out in small hand fulls, so I knew it was coming out in his.  But he said it tickled, and giggled, and I didn't care.  I cherished his sweet chubby two-year-old fingers running through and through my hair as his eyes blinked heavily.  

I'm anxious to be past this - to be past missing my kids before I'm even gone.  To know exactly what this is and how it's going to be - good or bad.  And I'll be glad to be home again with my kids and have this all behind me.  

So, the countdown begins again.  25 days until I say goodbye - again- to my kids and fly out.  Until then, I'll be working hard to make them good days together.  

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