Reflection and Pterodactyl Fur

We just got home from watching Emerson perform in a little mini play at school.  She was a farmer (and a cute one, too).  Landen is watching a show and I began reflecting over the past few weeks.  After last weeks posts (here and  here), I felt like I was riding high.  Something I thought that might be a very sad thing was actually, while a little bittersweet, very freeing and the response I received was inspiring.  The meanness, teasing, and tormenting I received when I suffered from alopecia as a kid beautifully transformed into this wonderful connection with others as an adult.  I really couldn't ask for more.  I get to lose my hair and I'm honestly thankful.

And speaking of being a kid, I found myself filling out Kindergarten paperwork yesterday for this one.





I suddenly felt an urgency to get in as much time with him as I possibly could.  His days will soon have limited time for me and Jon has to sometimes remind me that I'm not actually giving him away!  This time - this sweet limited time - I've had with him when he's been small is coming to a close and I intend to make this kid feel an endless supply of love and encouragement to take with him to Kindergarten in a few short months.



A few days ago, the boys and I visited the local dinosaur museum.   During our long walk to get there Landen ran ahead and Braeden and I got to anticipate the things we were about to learn.  And our anticipation was not met with disappointment!  He soaked that place in.





He was telling me more about the dinosaurs and their lives that he was sure had to be true, it was hard to keep up.  However, it never grew old hearing Braeden add "right, Mom?" to the end of every declaration.  It was hard to tell him 'no' sometimes when he wasn't right, so there were times I just nodded my head with enthusiasm and gave a big assuring smile like he was the smartest kid in the world.  I knew he wasn't actually feeling the dinosaur's sweat and so what if he thinks Pterodactyl skin was full of fur so their babies could snuggle with them.   Besides, who says I can't nurture that imagination?  He's got plenty of time to learn the scientific stuff, but for that day, that Pterodactyl was furry and dinosaurs sweat was sticky, stinky, and very wet.







And then there was Landen, for whom asking to slow down and be quiet is like asking him to wait to go potty.  Both of those things - not going to happen.

So, there was a little chasing him around and my personal favorite, climbing into the display to snatch him before touching the thousand year old fossil.  Yeah, that happened.



These are the days I'm going to take advantage of - chasing and snatching and all.   I'll miss them someday, I know.







And since I've been a little inconsistent the last few weeks, my Friday Phone Pics will be fuller than normal this week.  :)




Happy Friday and have a great weekend!

Some Friday Favorites

As much as I talk about how fast time flies and how I wish I could hold on to these moments, which is still true, I think I feel an equal amount of excitement as I watch the dynamics and relationships grow and change as the days pass by.  My conversations with my kids, Emerson and Braeden in particular, get to hold substance beyond the short simple answers and vague conversations they used to.  And with it, the level of trust and friendship doesn't necessarily go up a notch,  but perhaps just a few notches deeper, if that makes sense.  Anyway, one of the new things I've so enjoyed is the notes that have become a habit of being found on Emerson's white board.  Everyday after she goes to school I check it.  Every day when she gets home, she checks it, because there is bound to be a continuing conversation about our days left on there.   It has quickly become one of my favorite things.

Sister and brother roles have made their adjustments, too.  One of their new pastimes has become Emerson reading her big-kid chapter books to Braeden (can I just throw in Junie B. Jones - hilarious!), which inevitably leads to a lesson in phonograms and how to sound out words, which made me feel kind of bad for Braeden because he couldn't just enjoy the story, until I realized her little lessons were working!  That kid can sound out words to both read and write pretty well now!  Who knew?!

Guess my job as mom is done!

Braeden has rediscovered his love for his stuffed animals (I've noticed the trend of certain toys continually going in and out of style).  These guys showed up to watch a movie with us the other day.

And then there's this kid.

Landen.  These days, this is how bedtime goes down.  Face snuggled into the soft side of his green pillow pet and my right hand cupped around the chub of his left cheek.  Soon, he begins to smack his lips, a signal that his eyes will soon be blinking their final blinks.  It's then that he tries to hold onto those last moments of consciousness by fidgeting around, rubbing his head and running his fingers through his hair.  Then, its my cue to take his hand, settling those figity fingers, and I give it one last squeeze, almost magically sending him off to dreamland.

Almost every night ends like this....

And since I've already got two pictures of this sleeping baby, here's just one more...

I don't think the joy of breathing in my kids as they sleep will ever fade.  

Oh, and I'm going to take a cue from several of my bloggy friends and do a Friday Phone Dump.  These are all pictures I've taken with my phone and are on Instagram (if you are, too, my user name is sandra_kelly)!

Until next time.... :)

(Linking up with Rachel at Finding Joy today!)

There has never been anyone like you, ever in the world

On the night you were born, 

the moon smiled with such wonder

that the stars peeked into see you 

and the night wind whispered,

"Life will never be the same."

...So whenever you doubt just how special you are

and you wonder who loves you, how much and how far,

listen for geese honking high in the sky.

(They're singing a song to remember you by.)

Or notice the bears asleep at the zoo.

(It's because they've been dancing all night for you!)

Or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind.

(Listen closely... it's whispering your name again!)

 -- On the Night You Were Born

by Nancy Tillman

 Just a few of the verses from a book I read to Braeden today.  

This morning was Braeden's family Thanksgiving feast with his preschool class.  Our plan for the day had been changed.  With necessary weekly visits to the orthodontist now, I had once rescheduled this appointment already and tomorrow the office is closed.  The plan was revised, with hesitation, that Jon would go ahead and take off of work and he would be the one to attend the family feast with Braeden while I went to my appointment.  

However, the plan was revised again when Landen awoke with a swollen throat, fever, runny nose, and cough which prompted me to suggest Jon take Landen into the doctor after dropping Braeden off at preschool and before the feast.  The doctor then confirmed both Strep and a cold (poor Landen!).

Besides the fact that he was feeling pretty miserable, this meant Landen shouldn't be around other little ones.

Which meant Braeden would have no parents or family at the Thanksgiving feast today. 

Braeden was picked up after preschool today, seemingly unphased, and when I got home from my appointment shortly after lunch, he and I settled down to read this book.

And I couldn't make it through.

I couldn't hold back the tears as I read the words in the book.  It's really pretty silly because Braeden was happy that he had dinner with his best buddy, Eli, and his mommy and daddy (who is really family to us anyway), and another great friend's mommy helped him get his plate.  Because of these things he had a full belly and got to have lunch with friends today!  Score! (At least in his mind)

But in my mind we failed. 

OK, I realize that these situations were out of my control.  We didn't know the day would play out the way it did, but I held in my mind the image of excited 3, 4, and 5 year old faces lighting up as their parents walked in while Braeden waited in anticipation, glancing toward the door, until dinner was ready to be eaten and he realized we weren't coming and someone else had to help him get his plate. 

This may or may not have been how it went down, but it was a stark reminder that it really is my job, my calling, and my passion to really show him that he was and is not forgotten.

In a couple of weeks, we'll have all but forgotten the preschool feast.  It will be ancient history in Braeden's mind as we move quickly toward the magic season of Christmas.  

I will choose to bring with me, though, the sentiment of the words I read to Braeden today.  The reminder from my Creator today that He created me to make choices to love my son; to show and encourage and point to Him as I lay with him at night, as I listen to him sing songs each day, as I do my best to always be at his special occasions, and as I balance my love and grace with logic and discipline so that he can come away knowing that he is special, he has my heart no matter what happens in his life, and that most importantly, he can rest in the fact that he is loved and safe and celebrated here with us at home.  

This, another verse from the book, is one I believe is really true, and loved sharing with Braeden on my lap today.

 Heaven blew every trumpet

and played every horn

on the wonderful, marvelous

night you were born.

Braeden, after briefly wondering why I was sad while reading this new book, even though it had happy pictures, picked up and ran off and kept playing (making his sweet sick brother laugh and laugh with the pillows on the couch).  

I'm thankful for the reminder today that Braeden held some grace for me, too.  His 5 year old heart believed me when I said I was sorry we missed it, hugged me, and went on to play and laugh in our living room.

He makes me a very blessed mommy!   :)

 

Today he's 5!!

My biggest boy turns 5 today!

Five years ago today. I have vivid memories of his much anticipated arrival - which almost didn't happen that day - and the first moments I got to see him.  Jon was smiling so proudly and with tears in his eyes.  I gazed into his sweet new face and was instantly in love and so thankful that God entrusted me with this boy.  Emerson came in and held him gently with a sweet amazement with his tiny feet.  And my joy was full to the brim.

From the beginning he made known that he was strong willed - a strong willed sleeper, a strong willed eater, and a rough and toughness that allows him to stick up for himself (which I am sometimes secretly proud of!).

With that strong will, however, comes a strong and vivid imagination.  His stories literally amaze me sometimes, the complexity, the creativity, and the vividness in which he tells them.  It is easily one of my favorite things about my boy.

I love to watch him play with his sister, using his gentle side (most of the time) when pretending with her every day during their quiet time.  He clings to her and loves her.

Every night he asks Daddy to sleep with him and every night Jon reads with him and lays with him as he dozes off (which, if you know Braeden, is crazy fast!  He falls asleep faster than anyone I've ever known!).

He arises every morning between 5 and 6 and is ready to start the day!

He has such wonder.  Things amaze and interest him and he always wants to know more.  He wants to know all the details.

His favorite food - Mac -n- Cheese.
His favorite color - Orange
His favorite pasttime - Riding his big boy bike
Oh, and he loves to dance lately!
You wouldn't know it, but he can sing, too - pretty darn well!

He LOVES to help me in the kitchen.  He is such a big helper.  And most of the time, I am very thankful for his help.  ;)

I am so thankful for this little boy that God has given me.  He has stretched me and challenged me and shown me a type of mama love that I didn't know I had.

He is full of a rich personality, filled with laughter, and an energy that spills over to those he's with.

I'm so, so blessed to be his Mommy.

Happy Birthday, big boy.  I love you so, so much!  I thank God for you each and every day.  I love seeing you grown and learn every day.  I have dreams of the friendship we'll someday have and the man you will become.  Until then I'm thankful to teach and correct and guide and pray for you each day.

Happy Birthday, Buddy!  I love you, Braeden!

P.S.  Here are some shots from the early birthday party we had for him a few weeks ago.  The theme chose: planets (then he chose power rangers - which I don't even know if he knows what they are - and then he again chose planets, so planets it was.  He knows lots about them, so you should ask him next time you see him!).  :)

Choosing happiness

Happy, I'm sure it's no surprise to you that my kiddos make me happy.  What else?  My sweet and so supportive husband, friends who sacrifice their time for our family, s'mores pizza (seriously, so thankful for this treat tonight! ;)).

Sometimes I have to choose to be happy, however.  It doesn't come as easily as with big neck squeezes from my favorite little ones or feeding my extreme sweet tooth craving with a piece of heaven in a s'mores pizza!  With all the weight of the upcoming months my choice in some moments is either to be overwhelmed, frustrated, and sad ... or to be happy with where I am right in the moment.  And let me tell you what, there are these little things from where I'm choosing to feed my happiness.

Some of those things:

These are where I found my happiness in the midst of anxiety and stress this past week.  Along with the choice of peace that only comes from Jesus.  Happiness has been a constant choice.  But I'm genuinely glad when I choose it.