Update: Post-Op Day 4

This will be quick.  I'm still really tired.  This has been one of the most trying weeks of my life.  Most of my face has been numb up until today and I am just now feeling it slowly 'wake up.'  Swallowing has been quite a learning experience, swallowing lots of air each time I try, though not quite as scary as I was anticipating (still a little frightening, though).  Swelling and nights have been the worst part.  Swelling makes my head feel so heavy and big and uncomfortable.  The nights are bad because I've been swelling up more in the evenings.  Between a stuffy nose and my mouth and face swelling so much, it feels like I'm suffocating.  The doctors warned that may happen, though they assured me I wouldn't suffocate.  It's hard to remember that, though, when it's happening.

The differences in my appearance are very apparent.  I've seen an 'after' picture Jon took right after surgery, but don't care to look at myself.  It actually makes me quite sad.  It doesn't look like me, or at least, just a different me.  The swelling is so big right now that it's also hard to know exactly what it will look like after the swelling goes down (they say 80% of the swelling will go down by 2-4 weeks post op - the rest will take the remainder of a year to completely go away.)

I can tell I've lost weight, though I don't know how much.  I haven't been able to weigh myself since the day of surgery.

Oh, and tonight was the first time I've felt hungry.  I saw a Subway commercial and it made me crave some. Not bad, though, considering I haven't eaten anything in 5 days.  

The worst is missing my kids.  Crying makes everything feel more congested, so I've tried to resist, but it's hard.  I just miss them.  I miss my sweet girl, and funny Braeden, and Landen's "Hiyah's!"   We've been able to talk on Skype each night (though the first few nights I stayed out of view of the camera because I was afraid of scaring them).  I LOVE hearing their voice and about their days.  Landen isn't really into talking on the phone or computer, so I'm really missing him, but since he's only 2, I knew he would lose interest fast.  I just miss them so much.  I want to be with them, take care of them, and tuck them in bed.  My heart is aching for them.

I'm going to stop there because it's making me want to cry.

Please pray for swelling and the feeling of suffocation.  Please pray for my nerves as they are beginning to wake up that I wouldn't be in too much pain.

Pray for Jon.  He is doing an AMAZING job of taking care of me.  He's really been on top of it the whole time we've been here and is making sure have everything I want and need.  He stops and prays with me quite a bit, which I've really needed.

Most, please pray for my babies who miss their mommy and daddy.  Pray for a quick 9 more days of being away.  Pray for patience and grace for my parents, who are doing a fantastic job with my kids, but I know how hard this may be for them, too.  

Thank you for all the encouragement and support.  I'll try to update with pictures soon.